There has been some rational reasons as to why a post hasn't occurred for a long time. I will explain the reasoning in a little while, but more importantly I need to share CAT scan results. Unfortunately (yet again), the last chemotherapy did not work. The cheekbone tumor has increased in size and it is the largest in size change. It has more pressure on the brain now because of the new size. This would probably explain the new level of pain and excess nerve attacks in that area. The stomach and the other tumors are larger; however, we are talking a 1-2 millimeter change. Chatting with Dr. S about the size changes other than the cheekbone, they are tolerable in the sense that it is a very small measurement. Even though the treatment didn't work, the tumors could have resulted in a much worse scenario.
The massive reasoning for the lack of blogs was due to blood problems. As mentioned in the first chemo-treatment (August - September) my hemoglobin values were roughly 9-ish g/dl. Of course during radiation the values got better since my body wasn't exposed to the danger of chemo; I sometimes hit up to 10 g/dl. One more recent hemoglobin value was 6.5 g/dl! WOW! This value is not good. Generally after the value of 8 g/dl a transfusion is required (kind of). It is ultimately up to the patient to decide whether they want a transfusion. Based on what I've heard some patients have perhaps even lower values and still go through chemo. After a discussion with Michael, some debate, and seeing that the next blood screen showed a value of 6.7 g/dl, a transfusion was scheduled.
What I should definitely explain is that low hemoglobin values result in severe fatigue. I had great difficultly walking from my living room to the bathroom. I needed Michael to assist just to make sure that I didn't have so much weakness that I ended up falling. I now use a wheelchair, but mostly at the doctor's office since I don't venture out anymore. Frankly, it is the safest level of transportation for me at this time. Not only was physical fatigue vastly different from my previous experiences, but I slept incessantly during the day and the night. As a result, a blog post, emails, and general communication was one of the last things to attempt (unfortunately) since eating didn't happen regularly because of the massive sleeping during the day.
I had the transfusion February 2 at the Phoenixivlle Cancer Center which is where I had the radiation done in the fall. It was a super early appointment at 7AM where my wonderful friend and neighbor, Mrs. D drove me there and then hung out with me for the full 7 hours of treatment! Interestingly, it became obvious that my blood type is "B+." I saw this on every bag, which resulted in 3 blood bags for the 7 hours of injection. Mrs. D joked and explained how that blood type is how you should be in life, which is "BE POSITIVE." I love this and of course we laughed about it. It is so important and frankly something I'm been trying to work on since all of this started! CLIMBING THE POSITIVITY LADDER!
The day after the treatment I felt so much better! I was moving around the house carefully despite the fact that I found I had less fatigue issues. Sometimes you worry that you are over sensationalizing what is happening; however, because I was able to do things physically that were issues before, I believe things were improved. I did notice the same, but perhaps a better experience the next day (the weekend), which was wonderful since I was able to interact with my kiddies. However, I mistakenly did things overboard. I didn't relax as I should so I ended up with pain, exhaustion, and a grumpy personality at the end of the day. Doesn't this happen with everyone? I won't know what the potential new value is until I start treatment up again, but at least I can physically experience improvements.
Prior to the transfusion, there was the Dr. S appointment that I mentioned above. Not only did we discuss CAT scan results, but the possibilities of treatments. I am at the point where clinical trials are valid and frankly are the only options at this point. I have signed off on a protocol and things are taking a long time. I'm not sure when I will officially start, yet I might not get clearance to join this trial. With this protocol you either get the drug by itself or the drug with another drug. I will not know what I take, but at least I get a chemo drug regardless. It is given once a week for a total of 2 injections (every 3 weeks). I will then have a CAT scan after 6 weeks - if the drug works I will continue, if not we have another clinical trial drug to start.
In general things have been emotional. From failing treatment again, to having a swift change in blood values, and waiting for the next round of chemo treatment it has generated many emotions. I don't understand why things happen and of course I get extraordinarily frustrated, but I do have the notion that there are valid reasons why these things are happening. For instance, the longer I'm out of treatment, the better my blood values. Perhaps this is quite important! Of course this is where God is controlling things. I just forget sometimes that it is He that is organizing and managing everything. Of course it is difficult to deal with and generates various emotions, but it is something I have to remember and bring up in my busy head. It is He after all that is fixing me!
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